The era of the "sensitive man" is OVER.
The new sheriff has arrived and he came right out of the 50 Shades novels...
It's every fucking modern girl's BS idea of the most attractive man in Hollywood.
Or is it?
Why have people DECIDED that THIS is the image of what a man should aspire to be?
Why do they say things like getting big, lifting heavy weights, or learning to fight makes you more of a man?
If they're not saying it...
I'm saying it.
It at LEAST makes you more of a manly man.
Which... In 2017, is actually somewhat demonized...
Mostly by effeminate men who are often upset by their own place in the social strata.
People like to say that things have changed, and that women don't look for that anymore.
And maybe for a while... This was true.
Hollywood had a golden era of influence and put out movies with resounding images of the "sensitive man," who grew to be likable and easy-to-get-along-with archetypes for men with few male friends and men who had a hard time creating lasting relationships with women.
BUT THIS ERA OF INFLUENCE IS OVER.
With the rise of social media, and the introduction of reality TV and live internet podcasts, vlogging, etc... People began to enjoy the more realistic side of media.
The kind of media that doesn't involve you ESCAPING from reality... But instead makes you feel IMMERSED in it.
Youtube Live chat has a live chat option for it's viewers making them feel like a PART of the action.
Most recently, youtubers and podcasters have INVOLVED their watchers and listeners, much like a radio station takes callers for their opinion on the reality of current events, giving it an altogether more interactive feel for its followers.
We don't want our media to portray people in unattainable situations -- fantasy realms of social circles we'll never be in...
Or for our movies to portray OLD beauty, where thin blonde women with skinny waists rule the world.
Instead, we have collectively flipped that image on its head and made it so that these scenarios seem much more relatable.
We've basically turned our media into a series of bad porno scenes -- where some rich business tycoon name Christian Grey will come along and swoop little miss ordinary off her feet. And then proceed to initiate rough sex with her on the spot.
It makes the non-blonde, not skinny chicks feel like they can have a taste of that good life too.
It gives the movie a little more of a relatable feel to all the less pretty girls out there.
But what about the guys?
The most annoying argument someone can make to anyone with ACTUAL OPINIONS.
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
Well, no shit there, Sherlock.
We all grew up hearing this.
But THEN we all grew up and learned to develop personal fucking preferences, too!
Which is why I will never shit on 50 Shades.
I mean... It was a lonely woman's fan fiction about her darkest sexual fantasies. Or at least the ones she's PUBLIC about.
But I actually PRAISE the author for writing it! I thank GOD for 50 Shades!
Because she REMINDED everyone that the bullshit about the effeminate man -- the falseness of what girls SAID they wanted publicly from probably the 1980's until freakin' the age of the 50 shades fantasy -- was really just a confused act of desperation from the feminists of each generation since.
It was a bunch of confused girls -- who had not yet GROWN UP to develop PERSONAL preferences -- following like sheep the prescribed Hollywood image of the "most desirable man."
So in relation to the CURRENT image of the most desirable man in Hollywood...
The ruthless, heartless, cold and uncaring Christian Grey archetype...
The effeminate man stands no chance.
And I have seen it again and again... In my own personal experience dating.
I'll go out with friends and meet girls that just do NOT seem interested in ANYONE in the fucking room.
Even girls that are out with their boyfriends seem uninterested in their boyfriends.
Women with expensive diamonds on their fingers seem UNATTRACTED to their husbands.
And having not encountered more than an ounce of competition for girls since I was in high school... I feel that the reason for my ability to attract these girls, or my ability to out-compete the hundreds of other guys they could possibly entertain... has NOTHING to do with my being exceptionally gifted with good looks, or outstandingly intellectual, or large in stature.
(As a matter of fact, I have had more "success" with women since I STOPPED lifting weights -- MORE ON THIS LATER)
But it has everything to do with my understanding of the martial arts.
Sigh... I do not want to explain this because it is exhausting...
But I will do it because I have made it a goal to figure out the reasons I find myself attracting all the girls most guys only DREAM of attracting...
And how the FUCK I can teach a guy to do it for himself.
Not because I feel bad... But because I was once also very confused about why I had issues attracting the women of MY dreams... Why I was unhappy with myself and my relationships...
Annnnddd... Also because it gets lonely at the top, fellas.
I almost WISH I were bullshitting you when I say that I can literally have any woman that I want.
God, this is a heavy read... But, you know what...
We're almost there.
When I was very young, my brother began to teach me martial arts.
Little did I know then the impact it would have in my day to day success with women years later.
I got my first karate uniform when I was probably 4 years old.
I did not attend classes until I was a little older, but it instilled in me the desire to want to fight.
When my brother lived with us, I would watch him work out, lift weights and hit the heavy bag my mom let him put up in the back yard.
I thought it looked so cool.
Being the hyperactive kid that I was, I found a fun and exciting way to release all the pent up energy I had from having to sit still around my annoyed babysitting sisters.
I'd try to fight my brother, who was a full grown man and much larger than my kid self and i'd inevitably always lose.
But as his goal was not to BEAT me down, or BRAG about his strength over me... But was instead to SHOW me the way and TEACH me what he knew... I learned quickly from each mistake, and that gave me the courage to try to take him out again the next time.
As we got older, my brother joined the military and went off to serve, away from home and our fights grew rarer and rarer.
I felt connected to him every time I would train, throwing kicks and punches in the houses, breaking things until I learned to have a little self control (before I broke something I didn't ENJOY breaking, like one of my freaking toes or something).
Still, I grew older and eventually came across the writings of Sun Tzu and The Art of War.
I found out my brother was a fan and couldn't seem to put it down.
When I was in my teens, I'd read the book... and it'd feel like I'd never understand the cryptic and ambiguous wording of the text.
But as I persevered, I began to extrapolate it's most important teachings.
While The Art of War says little or nothing on relationships among men and women... I found myself... Like most who read the many versions of it... to be applying it in different aspects of my life.
I would apply little lessons from the book in my work outs, or in my goals to read new books, or improve on a new skill I was trying to pick up.
But I found it to be MOST interesting when I found myself applying its teachings in my relationships with women.
Although it took me years to master, because of the lack of material on the subject (or more likely because of my trial-by-error approach to applying it), I grew very comfortable with the concepts it provided and it SIMPLIFIED my many anxious encounters with women and made me feel more confident in my endeavors with any member of the opposite sex.
One of my favorite concepts in the text is that the best way to do battle, is to AVOID doing battle altogether.
It saves valuable resources, like time and effort.
But the thing here, that most people overlook is the fact that the best way to avoid doing battle is to APPEAR infallible.
To appear SO strong and powerful, that no force alive DARE reckon with you. To be SUCH A BADASS, that NO ONE wanted to fuck with you.
And this came into play with women when I didn't have to COMPETE anymore with some men, because I FELT superior -- either in strength, from lifting weights, or in knowledge of the martial arts, or in the pick-up artist strategies my guy friends would impart upon me to help me get ass.
But as time passed, I realized that it would be impossible to keep this up forever.
After all, every time I lifted, I'd meet someone bigger and stronger.
Every time I fought somewhere new, I'd encounter someone who knew a little something more than I in the martial arts (although, I find this annoyingly difficult today -- despite my belief that somewhere in this world, there may always be someone who is your superior at any moment in any given aspect of life and at any given time along your path to self-betterment).
I'd go out and try to pick up girls, but the online communities on picking up girls seemed to always have some new piece of bullshit for you to chew on, and I became frustrated with the techniques they gave me worked SOMETIMES, but not when it mattered, or when I really wanted them to.
My friends seemed to not know any better, and the other guys I saw around seemed WORSE OFF!
I thought it time I developed my OWN system for this shit that I KNEW would work for me, if I could just take some of the useful shit I learned from my player friends, but tailored it to my own specific needs.
Though I was confused about my needs back then,
much like the girls who THINK they want a 50 Shades type relationship, but then find themselves equally as miserable...
Or like the millions of guys who CHASE after women they find physically attractive, only to remain absolutely fucking MISERABLE, like their female counterparts...
I was getting somewhere. And that PROGRESS gave me the confidence to try again anytime I failed.
Do you see where this is going, now? Finish the fucking read.
I learned that the girls I was attracted to did not want the biggest guy around
(lol sometimes they do -- watch out fellas).
They didn't want the SMARTEST guy around.
They didn't give a fuck if I knew how to properly throw a good right hook, or if I knew any good pick up lines...
But they wanted a mother fucker who would not quit until he got what he wanted.
And the crazy fucking thing is...
Most people never WILL get what they want.
Not because they're not smart enough, big enough, sexy enough, or what have you.
They will not get what they want because they will give up before they get it.
Because they'll encounter a guy who is bigger and smarter and whatever the fuck, and relinquish every bit of control they have over their own emotions, or their own desire for more, and let it sink their fucking dreams like a dingy at war with a fucking naval warship.
It's fucking disgusting.
And it is this trait the will separate those who get what they want from those who don't.
It is a WILL to CARRY ON, DESPITE the circumstances that makes us TRULY infallible.
It makes us fucking impervious to any adversity we could ever actually face.
It's what makes you LAUGH when someone tries to take what is rightfully yours, because you know the FUTILITY of their efforts and they don't.
But don't laugh unless you feel it.
Don't fucking FAKE it unless your goal is to make it.
Don't settle, and carry on until you get what you fucking want, or you will be horribly unhappy.
And so this is why fighting makes you more of a man.
Because I have DECIDED that for myself.
Because MY HAPPINESS matters more to me than any Hollywood portrayal of what a mis SUPPOSED to be.
Because I feel no real need to explain myself to a damn soul, and feel no real competition, except for that which I take on to challenge myself to become better.
And because when you are FIGHTING for something that is really THAT FUCKING IMPORTANT to you...
It becomes IMPOSSIBLE to give up.
Fighting becomes your ONLY fucking option.
Everyone wants something a little different.
But if it's what you want, and you know you can fight for it for fucking ever -- like there is NO FUCKING TOMORROW...
and maybe manliness...
is in the eye of the beholder.
Fight for what you think is right.
Stay tuned for more posts about things like...
why I think FEMINISM makes us BETTER MEN...
why FIGHTING becomes EASY when you have a girlfriend...
how to GET A BETTER BODY, HAVE MORE ENERGY and EAT PIZZA ALL THE TIME...
how to hit on a girl you like, even if her boyfriend is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson...